


Klaus in Wonderland

by JYNXXX



Category: Alice in Wonderland (1951), The Umbrella Academy (TV)
Genre: Alice in Wonderland References, Overdosing, Recreational Drug Use, takes place prior to tv show
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-03-15
Updated: 2019-03-15
Packaged: 2019-11-18 14:07:00
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,098
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18121967
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JYNXXX/pseuds/JYNXXX
Summary: Klaus had always loved his highs. Even the bad trips were worth it all in the end for him, cause nothing could be worse than the pounding voices in his own head. But this trip took him down a dark rabbit hole he would do anything to escape from.Klaus ends up in wonderland after taking a new pill and has to face some painful emotions. Mention of drug use and abuse. Also takes place prior to the events in the TV show.





	Klaus in Wonderland

**Author's Note:**

> My friend is the one who came up with the idea for this story, so thank you so much for the inspiration! I've always loved alice in wonderland, it was one of my favorite movies as a child so I couldn't resist writing this.

“What would you like this time?” She offered up a toothy smile…well, mostly toothy but quite a bit of the little pearls were missing.

Klaus beamed and offered forth a wad of cash with shaking hands, “Oh, just the usual Betty, the typical order and such.”

Ben seemed annoyed while leaning against the dirty alley wall, but he tended to always be this way when Klaus went searching for a bit of fun.

Betty clicked her tongue as she counted through the bills, “And here I thought you were searching me out to get your hands on that new pill everyone’s throwing a fuss over. Suppliers like myself get a new batch to have it be eaten up within minutes.”

Klaus’ interest was certainly peaked, “ _New_ drug? What exactly have you guys concocted, sweet Betty?”

She pulled Klaus’ usual order out of her knitted and dusty bag as she rolled her eyes, “They call it ‘Alice’. Not the most spectacular name if ya ask me. But apparently, they think the less intimidating it sounds, the less concerned the police will be.”

“Oh, you mean like how they are with Mary-Jane?” Klaus chuckled at his own joke, but the quivers in his body grew violent and cut it short. The thought of something new, fresh, and exciting easily crushed Klaus’ level of will power, which was non-existent to begin with. “How much for it?”

Ben scoffed and pushed off the wall to stand by his side, “Are you an idiot? You don’t even know what this drug is or what it does-“

“Shhhhh, okay? I don’t need to hear your lecture.” He turned back to see Betty with a raised brow. Klaus threw a helpless hand in Ben’s direction, “Oh, ya know. The voices.”

Betty nods in understanding and waves a gentle hand, “Oh, I hear ‘em too. Your fine, sweetie. But unfortunately, I only have one pill left.”

He rubbed his hands together and leaned closer, “How much ya charging?”

“$20 per pill.”

Klaus sucked in a deep breath at that, “Ohhh Betty, why? I thought you and I were close? You can’t give me a deal like that. Twenty bucks for one high?”

She cackled, “Darling, this isn’t a high you ever come down from. And this _is_ a deal, you should see what I’m charging the others.” She winked and everyone present knew Klaus was sold.

He fumbled in his pockets for his last crumpled bill and exchanged it for a royal blue pill that gleamed as if it were a brand new Lamborghini.

Ben was no longer quiet about his frustration as they sped out from the alley and bolted towards where they came from, “Are you fucking serious? Why you’d waste all your money, Klaus? You could have saved that!”

Klaus was ecstatic, “I did save it! I saved it for this!” He held the blue gem to the sun with an addict’s love glazing his eyes.

If Ben could, he would have smacked that little pill right out of his hand and throw it down the gutter. “You could have saved it to get an apartment, some new clothes, go to school, or even travel. Fuck, maybe get your life together?”

Klaus fumbled into the apartment and sprawled himself on the torn up couch. Klaus has been staying here for about a month now, even though the place wasn’t his. It belonged to…some guy Klaus was fucking. Ben couldn’t remember his name; he was pretty sure Klaus couldn’t remember it either.

“I get it Ben! You want me to _achieve_ great things; and I want to _feel_ great things! I think we are getting closer to seeing eye to eye, perhaps if you let up a bit we can do that.”

Ben was fuming as he paced the dingy carpet, “Do you know what I would do to be in your place right now? To have the chance to live a life?”

Klaus slammed his hands on the coffee table in front of him, hitting his breaking point much faster than the usual. The withdrawal and the edging panic of the voices seeping into his thoughts urged his heart to race. The sudden violence scared Ben silent, and Klaus felt the most terrible pang of guilt seeing his brother’s nervous stare. Klaus was never one to get angry, both him and Ben knew that…the lack of drugs in his system brought out the worst in him.

“Oh, my dearest Ben. What _I_ wouldn’t do to have us switch places. I would do _anything_ for you to be here breathing and alive, and instead it was my body-.” He pauses and points towards Ben, “and it was my body instead standing right there.”

Ben’s eyes only grew wider as they screamed in fear, “That’s not what I meant…I don’t want that! Klaus, you’re-“

Klaus didn’t want to hear the end of that sentence so he laughed to cut the tension in the air. Or at least he tried his best to brighten the mood, shaking his head and smiling, although his actions fooled no one.

“Ben…we always were the dark children, weren’t we? Me with my voices…and you with your demons.” Ben kept his silence and that meant Klaus had won this battle. “Cheers.” He lifted his single blue pill, his _Alice_ , before swallowing it dry.

He let his head fall back but it never met the couch, instead it sent his body careening down a silent and dark rabbit hole.

\----------------------------------------

Klaus had always believed his sense of fashion near impeccable, and with a thin frame and legs that went on for days, he clearly belonged on the run-way if you ask him. Even so, he could not for the life of him ever remember buying a little blue dress. Not that he was complaining, blue was certainly his color, but this garment was not particularly his style. There was no pizzazz nor was it risqué enough. As he posed in front of the mirror, taking a nice and hard look at his tight ass, he wondered when he had even put the piece of fabric on. Wait? The last thing he remembered was swallowing _Alice_ and then….now this? What about his high? The one he paid $20 for…he can’t even remember it!

He slapped his hands on his hips, “Are you serious? I’m gonna give Betty a piece of my mind the next time I see her. Ben, can you tell me what I did?”

A beat passed and Klaus could feel his face morph into distinct surprise at the silence. He turned around, scanned the small flat, and marveled at the lack of his brother. Ben was always there after a high; hell, he was usually there during the high too. They were inseparable, quite literally, where Klaus went so did Ben. That’s why Ben always liked to complain so much when Klaus never took them anywhere fun.

He scratched his head, wondering where his brother fluttered off to. Klaus got down on his knees and scanned beneath the coffee table, as if Ben was childish enough to play hide-and-seek with him. The blooming sensation of panic pumped through his heart, he jumped to his feet and threw everything aside in search for Ben. He flung open the closet, tore off the pillows and comforter on his bed, he even searched under a potted plant. But besides Klaus…no one else was home.

“Ben?” It was more a whimper than anything else, and damn he sounded pathetic. He slowly lowered himself down on the couch, thoughts thinking of the worse, that Ben had finally had enough of him. Ben was always the most patient one, but I guess he had his limits too.

Klaus’ heart nearly gave out as a small figure suddenly emerged in his kitchen. The boy looked exactly the same as he did when he went missing all those years ago, except for the bunny ears and tail he wore. “I’m late! I’m late!”

With his uncanny ability, Five jumped from his kitchen to the apartment door, flinging it open and racing down the hallway. Klaus sat on the couch with his mouth and eyes hanging wide, letting his thoughts determine if what he just witnessed actually happened. He scrambled after his brother, fumbling over his own feet and ramming his shoulder into the siding of the doorway. None of it stopped him; nothing possibly _could_ with this much adrenaline coursing through his veins. “Wait! Waiiiiiiit!”

He saw Five race down the steps and out into the dark alleyways. Klaus had much longer strides but Five was much faster than he ever remembered him being. The younger looking boy kept steadily mumbling to himself, “I’m late! I’m late! I’m late!” His light eyes kept scanning the gold pocket watch in his hand, dark brows furrowed in frustration.

“Five?! Where are you going? When did you get back? Ok…just stop and let me…catch up to you real quick!” Klaus was quickly losing breath and a stinging cramp was spreading in his ribs. He had to stop. He slumped forward and rested his hands on his bent knees.

Five barely spared him a glance, “I’m late! I’m late! For a very important date, no time to say ‘Hello’ ‘Goodbye’, I’m late! I’m late! I’m late!”

Klaus quirked an eyebrow at the odd but…very familiar wording. He repeated the words back to himself, feeling a vague memory from his past trying to reemerge. But it was like a wisp a smoke, and Klaus’ hands just couldn’t quite grasp it. His hands…Oh! _His hands_! He lifted them to his face, thick and inky words forever marring his palms. ‘Hello’ on one, ‘Goodbye’ on the other. There was a reason he got these, again that memory itched the back of his skull. Why did everything suddenly seem so familiar?

His hands flopped back down to his sides and his eyes traced the massive fortress in front of him. It was his home; or really, it _used_ to be his home. The Umbrella Academy, more of a dungeon than a cozy abode.

Klaus wasn’t sure he would ever come back here again, but he didn’t follow Five this far just to turn back now, right? If his brother really did just come back after missing all these years, Klaus wasn’t about to just blink his pretty lashes and walk away from that.

He pushed through the front door, swinging heavy on its hinges to expose…a scene he never anticipated to witness. He swatted the rising plume of heat and smoke from his eyes, wondering if perhaps they were the cause for the mirage he must be seeing. But the vibrant colors only grew brighter and the cheerful tunes made his ears bleed.

Klaus made a cautious approach to the large dining table situated in their entrance hall. Piping hot teapots lined its length; clearly they are the source of all the smoke and shrill notes lingering in the air. At the far end, Pogo and his father bounced along happily to the tune, clinking their teacups together before downing them.

“A very very unbirthday…to me.”

“To who?”

“To me!”

“Oh, you.”

“A very very unbirthday…to you.”

“Who me?”

“Yes, you.”

“Oh, me.”

Klaus looked on in rapture as they sang back and forth to each other. He pulled out a chair on the other side of the table and sat down without ever tearing his eyes away. He couldn’t seem to stop watching them, but on the flip-side they didn’t seem to even notice he was there.

“A very very unbirthday tooooooooo youuuuuuuu!” Finally Pogo ended it off with a fantastic climax, so Klaus offered up a round of applause. This was enough for them to turn in his direction with wide eyes

“Wow! Y’know, I will admit, I never took you both as a pair of chamber singers but-“

Fury pooled in their gazes as they launched themselves in his direction. “No! No! No! No! There is no room! No room!”

Baffled by the sudden shift in mood, Klaus weakly motioned towards the rows of empty chairs, “Well, I thought there was plenty of room.”

His father scoffed, “Well, that was very presumptuous of you, now wasn’t it? Could you be anymore rude?”

His mother came trotting down the table length with a pair of sugar cubes in her arms before dumping them unceremoniously inside his father’s teacup. “Oh yes, very very rude indeed.” Klaus was taken aback by how incredibly small his mother had become, nearly no bigger than a dormouse.

He argued back with his father, “Well, it’s not like I intended to intrude on your birthday celebration. I came here looking for-“

Pogo shook his head, “Oh no! My dear child, this _is not_ a birthday party.”

“ _Of course not!_ ” His father seemed absolutely disgusted by the thought, “This is an _unbirthday_ party.”

He was absolutely dumbfounded; baffled to the point he stopped and questioned if any of this was actual reality. “ _Unbirthday?_ I don’t think I understand…”

Pogo snickered while sharing a look with his father, “He doesn’t know what an unbirthday is.” Klaus had never heard the chimp sound so condescending before, and a heat of anger flushed his face. Pogo had never once tried to make the kids feel ashamed before, and Klaus was somewhat hurt by his intentions, although he had no plans of showing it.

“I _know_ what an unbirthday is! I just find this all to be ridiculous! The both of you are ridiculous!”

Pogo scoffed while blowing on his tea, “We’re ridiculous? You’re one to talk, think about all the trouble you started. Why even now, coming here uninvited and ruining our unbirthday party. Tsk tsk.”

He slammed his hands down on the mahogany wood, teacups rattled in their trays and his shrunken mother nearly toppled over from the vibrations. “Well, I didn’t think-“

Pogo jabbed a finger in his face, “That’s the point! If you don’t think, then you shouldn’t talk!”

Those words stung. They burned hot and long and successfully silenced the man. It was always like this right? Everyone thought he was the idiot…he never could follow the plan, could never think for himself…and so no one cared for what he had to say.

His father suddenly leaned in close with that painful, analytic stare of his, “Why is a raven like a writing desk?”

“Pft, okay, now you are gonna give me your riddles?” His father remained waiting patiently for his son to answer. Klaus always hated his riddles, almost as much as he hated his own father’s constant look of disappointment.

He looked down towards his mother who plopped another large sugar cube into his father’s tea. Soon enough there would be more sugar than tea in the porcelain cup. Klaus scratched his head; he swore he heard this riddle before. What was the answer?

He pressed his palms into his eyes and scoured his memories for the correct response. He let the frustration and bitterness grow as he dug deeper and deeper till he ended up in his own forbidden land, that dark part of yourself you deny exists. Unbeknownst to him, the air hummed around him. Picture frames rattled on their nails, candlesticks floated through the air, lightbulbs burst into sparks of gold.

He stood abruptly enough his chair fell back heavy on the floorboards, “Enough of your silly riddles! I don’t have time for this!”

“Time?” Pogo became panicked, “The time? The time! Who’s got the time?”

Five was suddenly there, materializing out of thin air at the other end of the table. “No no no no no! No time! ‘Hello’ ‘Goodbye’ I’m late! I’m late!”

Klaus scrambled after him, “Wait! Five wait!”

His father reached him first and wrenched the gold pocket watch right out of his small hands, “Well, no wonder you’re late, this clock is exactly two days slow.”

Five furrowed his brows in puzzlement, “Two days slow? No, that makes no sense! If it was two days slow, I would have more than enough time to stop the apocalypse.”

The older gentleman hummed to himself, “well, we will have to take a closer look into this.” He pried the backing off the watch to expose all the gears and wheels clicking together harmoniously. “Ah yes, I see what your problem is here! First, we will need some butter.”

He scooped a large portion of butter with his knife and slapped it into the machinery. Five began to freak out, “What the hell are you doing?” He tried to collect his item back but Reginald Hargreeves used a stiff arm to keep the boy at bay. Klaus was so struck by everything happening at that moment, he didn’t know what he was meant to do or say.

Their father then poured some tea and jam into the gears, only making Five’s panic attack become worse. Pogo offered forth another jar, “Mustard?”

“Mustard! Oh yes, I forgot about the mustard…wait, mustard?! Now, let’s not be silly here!....Lemon, now that’s different.” He squeezed a bit of lemon onto his concoction and slammed the watch shut.

The sound of scrapping metal rose from its depths as the watch quivered vivaciously on the tabletop. Soon, the shaking and trembling turned into hops as it clanged down among the fragile chinaware. A cacophony of noise blasted from its workings like a chorus of pleads, begging for the pain to stop.

“It’s gone mad!”

Pogo pushed us all aside, “There’s only one way to stop a mad watch!” He raised a massive hammer and slammed in down onto the rapid clock. All that was left now was dust and screws.

Their father shook his head, once again disappointment coloring his scowl, “Two days slow, that’s what it is.”

Five sobbed as he cradled the mess left behind in his arms, “That was an unbirthday present from Dolores.”

Klaus tried to comfort his brother, tried to take what was once lost into his arms, but Five was always the hardest one to catch. Moving through physical space, he was there one second and gone the next, running out of the academy into the night. Klaus chased after him, but not without leaving a message for their father, “Why do you always have to ruin everything?”

His father’s face was a mask that never seemed fazed, “Why is a raven like a writing desk?”

Klaus really didn’t have time for his riddles.


End file.
